I’ve gone to college so many different times that I couldn’t even tell you how many times I’ve tried. Somehow things just kept getting in the way of me pursuing my dream. One time I got a bad case of mononucleosis where my liver enzymes were elevated and my spleen was actually enlarged. Needless to say I was unable to physically be in class and was unable to continue my studies. This was extremely upsetting and frustrating but at the time I had no energy to be frustrated and upset. Another instance I was in college I actually developed Meniere’s Disease. This led to me leaving school again! I was so embarrassed that I had left school again. Part of me thought that I should just give up. However, I kept trying and “failing”. That is how I saw it, as failure. My pain and fear getting in the way of me pursuing my dreams.
Now let’s move forward a few years and we come to 2021. In May I started my first semester of university. It was online due to the pandemic which suited me because I didn’t have to leave my house and if I was in more pain at least I was at home! Being at home made it easier for me to get through my courses because I had everything with me and could take breaks from sitting. I know it sounds crazy but sitting aggravates my back the most!
Moving on to September and to in person classes. I was worried my back wouldn’t be able to hold up… and guess what… big surprise!! It isn’t able to hold up! Some days are better than others but when it comes to Thursday classes it is absolutely not holding up. I use Salonpas and Robax and it helps but not nearly enough.
Does anyone have anything they do to help their pain when they have to sit for long periods of time?
I have been to see a variety of doctors in the past 11 or so years. From infectious disease specialists to gastroenterologists to rheumatologists and more. At the beginning I would be almost excited to see these new doctors because I thought that they could figure out what was wrong with me and help me. For the most part I was wrong. Some have given me a diagnosis and then sent me on my way, like with fibromyalgia and IBS, while others simply have no idea or just don’t seem to think anything is wrong with me.
Now here’s the thing, most of my tests come back normal, so they think “okay nothing is showing up therefore nothing is wrong with you”. If they can’t see it how can they trust me, a virtual stranger, in saying something is most definitely wrong. They have probably had patients before that have been faking for whatever reason, however I am not one of those patients.
Whenever I see a doctor and they insist everything is normal or that maybe it is my depression I start to think that maybe I am not in pain, maybe it is all in my head and I’m just “making it up”. These are some of the hardest times for me because I actually feel like my physical pain isn’t real. But how can that be? I feel it every day.
So now every time I have to see a new doctor I do not get excited or hopeful instead I dread it. For I know I will once again doubt myself.
When the dog bites! When the bee stings! When I’m feeling sad! I simply remember my favourite things and then I don’t feel so bad! Today I’m channeling Maria from The Sound of Music (Julie Andrews is amazing). Books are definitely one of my favourite things. When I’m having a bad mental health or physical health day sometimes I will just curl up with a book and read.
Baby me posing with a book
I have always loved to read, however since my chronic pain has gotten worse I find myself reading even more. I find that reading relaxes me and gets me out of my head and into a new world. This world may contain romance or even murder but I always find getting out of my head and into a book a very positive thing. Reading helps me forget about my worries for a little while and just enjoy the book. Here are a few of my favourite books (they are in no particular order):
One of my favourite series to date is J.D, Robb’s In Death. Set in the future (it begins in 2058) Eve Dallas is a lieutenant in the NYPSD solving horrendous murders. Throughout the series we see Eve change in many ways. Here’s a book with a strong, resilient, and inspiring woman. There are approximately 50 in this series so far, so if you enjoy it you will have a lot to look forward to. I would not recommend this for someone who suffers from any kind of trauma especially physical assault and sexual assault as it deals with this quite often in the book.
I recently read Zen and the Art of Happiness by Chris Prentiss and thoroughly enjoyed it. It helped me to think of things in a more positive way. In this book it tries to show you that everything that has happened in the past has happened for a reason, to get you to where you are now. Your triumphs but also the tough things in life helped make you who you are. It can break or it can build you. I found this extremely comforting and have applied it to my past hardships and realized that all I have gone through has indeed made me a more compassionate person.
The Lying Game by Ruth Ware. An incredible read with plenty of twist and turns. Ruth Ware always keeps her readers on their toes! It all starts with a game… but ends with a body. Four best friends at boarding school come up with a game, the Lying Game. Years later a body is found by the beach, did the girls who are now women have anything to do with it?
Louise Penny’s Gamache series is set in a small village in Quebec called Three Pines. Three Pines looks like an idyllic place but are there hidden secrets? When a murder occurs it seems that this might be the case. Chief Inspector Gamache and his team arrive to try and solve the murder. The villagers all have such interesting and different personalities, could one of them be the killer? I find these books are always a cozy read, perfect for a cold day.
Debbie Macomber has written so many different books and series. One of my favourite is her Heart of Texas series. There are eight books in total and are based in… you guessed it, TEXAS! It is based around the villagers in Promise, Texas and their romantic life. In each book you will fall in love with the characters as much as the characters are falling in love with each other.
Deal Breaker by Harlan Coben is the first of his Myron Bolitar series. This series follows a sports agent Myron Bolitar as he tries to solve crimes using his wit. Harlan Coben has written an incredible character in Myron, his humour, smarts, and athleticism help him in trying to keep his clients safe and solve horrible crimes, without the help of police in many instances.
So there we are, here I only listed five but there are so many more books that have helped to relieve my stress. Whether it be through trying to change the way I look at the world or diving into a whole new world in a thriller, mystery, or romance books have often been my best friend.
I hope you enjoy, and let me know your favourite books in the comments!
Chronic pain. There are so many variations of it. There’s headaches, arthritis, fibromyalgia, neuropathy, etc. I know that some of my favourite gifts as a chronic pain sufferer have to do with something to either aide or distract me from my chronic pain.
Here are just a few gift ideas for those you know who are in chronic pain:
Blankets. Comfy, cozy, and perfect to cuddle up in during a flare of symptoms
Essential oils. I love using essential oils to help calm me down and relax me, whether I wear them or put them in a diffuser (another great gift idea by the way)
Books books books (did I mention books?)! There are days when we aren’t able to do much more than lie down. This can get very boring very quickly. A book (or books, the more the merrier) is a way of escaping and is also entertaining
A Netflix, Hulu, DisneyPlus, Youtube, etc. subscription (or DVDs). Once again it can get very annoying and boring to not be able to do anything
Any kind of cool and cute heating pad, hot water bottle, or ice pack ( my mom once got me and ice pack with a little princess on it and I love it!)
There are so many great gift ideas that will help someone that has chronic pain, I just picked a few. Do you have any other ideas, let me know in the comments!
Two and a half hours to my grannie’s and two and a half hours back… a total of five hours in the car for the day. This wreaks havoc on my body. Starting on the car ride back I ended up getting a really bad headache (I have chronic headaches). I thought that it might be because I didn’t eat for a long time. I decided to eat something and wait on taking Advil. However, unfortunately the headache did not go away and I needed the Advil.
On our ride back my lower back was in a little more pain than usual, but this was to be expected from the car ride. At the end of the car ride I decided to take my muscle relaxers as I knew it would probably be very aggravated. I was right! As soon as we got home I let the dogs out (also brought them back in don’t worry!) and went straight into my bed. As soon as I made it to my bed I felt the pain in my lower back. Now, with my fibromyalgia the pain is always there (and everywhere else) however, this was more, this was an intense pain. I’m lucky that I managed to fall asleep quickly!
I woke up this morning and the pain is worse than usual but all in all I’m glad that I went to visit my grannie and even got to see my aunt and uncle! The pain has held me back for so long and I’m trying to not let it anymore.
One of the most painful things that I can do is sit in a car for over an hour, my fibromyalgia cannot stand it. I try to avoid any car rides that take longer than an hour due to the pain I will be in during and afterwards. Why is it so painful to sit in a car for a semi long period of time? For me I think it’s because I need to move and change my positions often to even out the pain however, in a car you can’t really accomplish that.
Today I’m supposed to visit my Grannie who I haven’t seen in a year due to the 2 and a half hour car ride. I’m already severely stressed and in more pain due to the realizations that I will most likely be in a lot of pain in a short while. If it wasn’t the for the fact that I miss my grannie a lot there would be no way I would even consider going anywhere at this time.
So how can I make the car ride better you may ask. Well the first major plus is that my car has heated seats. If you have chronic pain you probably know how much this would benefit us. I’m also considering bringing an ice pack to switch between ice and heat like most health care professionals (HCPs) suggest doing. I’ll be bringing Salonpas patches that numb some of my pain and also my prescription for muscle relaxers. This may seem like overkill to a lot of healthy people but to me it is the only way of making myself as comfortable as possible.
To make the car ride a little more pleasant I will be bringing two books (YOU by Caroline Kepnes & Appointment with Death by Agatha Christie) my phone, and my wireless headphones (don’t worry I’m not driving.
Does anyone have any other suggestions for making this a less painful drive? What do you like to do if you’re the passenger?
Chronically Kath 